Enduring the Job Hunt: Overcoming Rejection
So, you have just graduated and your shiny new diploma has just arrived in the mail. You carefully insert it into the stylish cover that arrived with it it and arrange it strategically on the mantle so the lighting strikes it perfectly to magnify the tangible representation of years of painstaking work. Now what? After about a week, that moment quickly fades away and reality begins to set in. It is time to find a job and become an independent contributing member to society. You start applying for jobs, maybe even 20–30 per week. Hitting the “apply” button over and over and over and over again.
A week goes by without acknowledgement. Then another, then another. You start to lose hope and then finally, you receive the coveted e-mail and/or phone call. An interview request! You did everything you were supposed to do. Researched the company, arrived early, reviewed the top 20 interview questions and nailed every question the interviewer asked. You even sent a handwritten Thank You card after the interview.
You walked out of the interview (or finish the zoom call) feeling like you nailed it! Then nothing. A few days go by and you wonder if maybe they lost your number or resume and they don’t have your number anymore (it almost sounds like a bad first date), so you try to call or e-mail to follow up and receive the dreaded news. “We decided to go with another more qualified candidate.”
WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? Your whole world comes crashing down and you have lost all hope. Be encouraged. Rejection is part of the game. They call it a job HUNT for a reason. For a hunt to be successful, it takes skill, precision, timing and most of all, remarkable patience. It is ok to be disappointed, but don’t stay in that state of mind for too long. As painful as it is, you have to pick yourself back up and keep trying, keep moving forward. Here are 5 tips on how to overcome rejection:
1. Acknowledge The Hurt and/or Disappointment
It is important to acknowledge your disappointment. Acting like it didn’t matter and blowing it off can build up and end in an untimely emotional eruption. Acknowledge that the rejection hurts or is disappointing. Allow yourself to feel it, wallow in it even, but give it a time limit, whatever you think is right for you. However, you must set a time limit and stick to it. For example, you can give yourself a day to wallow in the disappointment, but once that time is up, it is crucial that you let it go and move on. You could be missing out on tremendous opportunities if you don’t.
2. Talk It Out
Talk to someone about it. A good friend, a parent, your adult child or even a therapist. Try to find a mentor or career coach who can walk the journey with you every step of the way. Whoever you speak to, speak to someone who will encourage you and not beat you down or say “I told you so.” It is healthy to speak to someone who cares; to release the feelings of hurt and disappointment and not keep it bottled up. It can also be helpful as it may help you gain a different (positive) perspective on the situation.
3. Do Not Take It Personal
You have to understand that a business is a business and they are looking for the best fit that will help the company thrive in many areas. You may be a great fit on paper, but perhaps your personality isn’t the best fit for the team you will be working with. There is nothing wrong with that. Think about it. Sometimes you have to try on many pairs of shoes until you find the one that fits you best. It doesn’t mean you didn’t like the other shoes, they just weren’t the right fit or comfort level for what you were looking for. Especially those shoes that are simply fabulous and your heart sank when you tried them on because there was no way you could walk in them without wincing or they didn’t provide the proper support (think on that one). Same philosophy applies in the workplace, it isn’t always about the work, sometimes it’s about the fit.
4. Remember What You Did RIGHT!
As you replay the whole experience in your mind, remember what you did right. You showed up on time, you nailed the questions, you dressed properly. You were 1000% prepared. Sometimes you can do everything right, it is just not where you are supposed to be. And that is ok. A closed door is simply guiding you to where are you supposed be. You have heard it before, where one door closes, another one opens.
5. Assess/Ask Where You Can Do Better
As you are reflecting and replaying the interview over and over in your head and you really have no idea what the issue may have been, ask the interviewer. The worst that can happen is they don’t respond, but many people will be happy to help. Ask if there was something that you could have done to improve your chances or if they have any advice or feedback for you based on how you interviewed. Set up a mock interview with an HR professional and have them give you feedback. Organizations such as The Adrienne Arsht Center in Miami created Arsht@work. It is a free resume and interview review service designed to help job hunters be prepared as much as possible to not only secure an interview but nail it too.
6. Don’t Give Up
Be encouraged. Every “no” is navigating you closer to your yes. Be patient and stay positive. It will work out, but you have to stand strong, be resilient and remain pleasantly persistent.
Recent college graduates! I know it can be devastatingly disheartening. I am watching my daughter who just graduated from Tuskegee University go through it. I created this note-taking journal, Words of Wisdom for Young Professionals, full of positive affirmations and reminders for her to take notes in and keep her inspired throughout the entire process. Hopefully it inspires you too.
If you are recently unemployed due to COVID-19, let the Game On! Relentlessly Pursue Your Dreams Inspirational Note-Taking Journal encourage you through the process.
To everyone going through this process; hold your head high and hang in there. It will get better, you WILL get through this.
Nicole R. Smith
Nicole is a Panamanian-American, single mother, workforce development specialist, dancer, motivational speaker and published author of Game On! Relentlessly Pursue Your Dreams as well as several inspirational note-taking journals. She is a She attended Oral Roberts University on a Division I full-ride track scholarship. After graduating, she founded Step It Up! Inc., a non-profit dance organization. Her experience in sports and entertainment, radio, TV and the performing arts has spanned nearly 20 years covering the Chicago, Houston and Miami markets. She has danced and cheered for four Professional and Semi-Professional sports teams, has prepared more than 500 interns to enter the workforce and has inspired crowds upwards of 2000. In 2019, She joined the Board of the Arts and Business Council of Miami was listed as one of WLRN’s “Local Women Who Inspire You” was selected as one of Legacy Miami’s MOST PROMINENT AND INFLUENTIAL BLACK WOMEN IN BUSINESS AND INDUSTRY OF 2019 and became a contributing writer for The Life of a Single Mom.
